Violenza domestica e separazioni conflittuali: corso di formazione a Padova

Il corso di formazione Vittime di violenza domestica: tutele e sostegni nelle separazioni conflittuali in partenza a Padova il 16 novembre 2018 nasce dal riconoscimento dei bisogni delle donne maltrattate che si rivolgono a noi per essere seguite nelle cause di separazione.

Le vittime di violenza domestica sono donne sole, spesso povere, sempre “infragilite” da episodi o da anni di violenza di genere; e maltrattamento nelle relazioni familiari.

L’essere vittima di violenza di genere da parte di altro essere umano con il quale si hanno relazioni affettive  e fiduciarie, in modo costante e in tutti gli ambiti della vita ha un effetto traumatico importante.

La violenza di genere effetti bio-psico-sociali, che compromettono e disorganizzano l’equilibrio della vittima, amplificandone le fragilità, creandone di altre ampliando le sue preesistenti fragilità.

Arrivano a noi per cause di separazioni “conflittuali”, ovvero separazioni dove la violenza e il maltrattamento subìto vengono  minimizzati, non riconosciuti come reati e ridefiniti come “conflitti”.

Le donne a  volte sono vittime fragili ma sono viste sempre come colpevoli.

La situazione delle donne vittime di maltrattamento durante le separazioni, presentate sempre come “conflittuali”, a volte è definibile solo come vittimizzazione secondaria, cioè vittimizzazione ad opera delle istituzioni e della cultura dominante.

La vittimizzazione secondaria è intesa quando la vittima, cioè la persona che ha subito un reato, diviene vittima ancora una volta quando entra in contatto con il sistema delle istituzioni e del sistema giudiziario.

Ciò troppo spesso accade alle donne vittime di maltrattamento:  spesso diventano vittime secondarie a seguito dei metodi usati nei loro confronti durante la raccolta delle denunce, durante le valutazioni dei servizi e nelle Consulenze tecniche d’ufficio (CTU) per l’affido dei figli.

Gli effetti di questa vittimizzazione secondaria sono variabili e sono conseguenze sfavorevoli ad uno sviluppo e mantenimento relazionale ed emozionale equilibrato che le donne e i loro figli subiscono.

Accade anche che gli effetti della vittimizzazione secondaria sono talmente elevati da pregiudicare il risultato positivo della richiesta giudiziaria di tutela.

Vittime di violenza domenistica: cosa accade alle donne

Molte donne maltrattate, e specialmente se hanno figli minori, rinunciano alle azioni giudiziarie di denuncia proprio perché sanno che non saranno credute, non saranno ascoltate, non verrà riconosciuto loro di essere state vittime primarie di un reato ma soprattutto verrà discusso se sono state “buone madri” o meno. Se “almeno” sono state in grado di tutelare e difendere i figli.

Dico “almeno” perché in contesti di CTU viene spesso usata questa frase a seguire dalla mera constatazione che “si, forse la signora ha subito maltrattamento ma… parliamo del fatto se è una buona madre”! Quasi che si parlasse di due persone diverse!

La vittimizzazione secondaria è reale e concreta quando il contesto istituzionale e culturale viene a ledere la vittima e a frustrare suo desiderio di giustizia.

La vittimizzazione secondaria colpisce sempre più le persone fragili soprattutto donne maltrattate che sono soprattutto donne infragilite dal lungo periodo di maltrattamento e di violenza domestica.

Richiamo che la violenza domestica è violenza fisica, psichica, relazionale, sociale, economica e spirituale, specie quando riesce a fare si che la vittima non si riconosca più come persona, ovvero come portatrice di autonomie, di diritti  e come distinta e separata dal suo maltrattante.

Spesso sono donne che, valutate nelle loro capacità genitoriali, vengono accusate di non essere state in grado di tutelare i figli ma soprattutto sono accusate di essere “cattive madri”, o madri non competenti, o peggio, madri che agiscono alienazione parentale. Ovvero di non tutelare abbastanza la figura maschile, la figura del padre dei propri figli.

Alle donne vittime di maltrattamento viene chiesto di tutelare agli occhi del minore la figura paterna, proprio quel padre che il minore spesso ha visto che picchiava la mamma o che comunque la maltrattava.

Alle donne è chiesto proprio come compito di una buona madre, in nome della genitorialità e per il supremo bene dei figli. Perché, viene loro spiegato, “è sempre il padre dei tuoi figli e il conflitto è tra voi”.

Donne maltrattate: la negazione di violenza e maltrattamenti

Quindi vi è una negazione della violenza e dei maltrattamenti. Si parla più facilmente di conflitto, ovvero di un comportamento, non di un reato, che è agito tra due persone alla pari.

La violenza e il maltrattamento in famiglia invece sono azioni di potere e controllo su una vittima, ovvero tecnicamente sono focus e problematiche diverse.

Durante le CTU spesso vengono poste domande ad indagare come mai la signora non se n’è andata prima, come mai non ha risorse psicologiche, come mai prende antidepressivi o tranquillanti, e le risposte della donna servono “solo” a rinforzare l’ipotesi che non è in grado di tutelare i figli e la figura del padre, quindi…. non è una buona madre e pazienza se è stata maltrattata ma chissà lei cosa ha fatto.

Ovvero quando viene sollevato il problema della violenza domestica o della tutela dei minori che assistono, i professionisti (molte di genere femminile) spesso tendono a ignorarlo, minimizzarlo o a non tenerlo nella dovuta considerazione.

Le vittime di violenza domestica sono donne  che vengono inoltre giudicate per la loro moralità e per come si vestono, per come si truccano, per come cucinano, per le loro unghie lunghe magari laccate, per le (molte?) storie di fidanzati come se queste informazioni le rendessero più o meno credibili, più o meno 2capaci” di essere buone madri.

Nei casi di separazione dove le donne erano chiaramente vittime di violenza e maltrattamenti, cioè con certificazioni di accessi o ricoveri in ospedale e diagnosi sanitarie, con denunce e varie prescrizioni emanate a loro tutela e per loro incolumità, non ho visto considerare nelle CTU e nella valutazione delle capacità genitoriali gli effetti della violenza e dei traumi sulla vittima, come donna e come madre.

La violenza viene “espulsa” dalla CTU e spostata in una zona d’ombra, altra della donna. In CTU si parla in astratto solo della madre, della donna che ha rapporti “conflittuali” con il padre. Come se fossero due persone diverse.

Vediamo sempre più nei nostri studi donne vittime rese impotenti dai meccanismi di una giustizia che sembra non tener conto delle complessità della vita delle persone.

Sono donne che spesso si ritirano anche dalla CTU dicendoci che “tanto hanno già deciso”, “tanto diranno che sono matta”,  “diranno che non ho fatto”, “che non sono stata capace”, “che avrei dovuto fare”.

Sono donne fragili, incapacitate da anni e da storie di maltrattamenti, rese non autonome e che non credono di farcela.

Così il loro abbandonare, spesso anche per difficoltà economiche, viene visto come la “prova regina”, semmai ce ne fosse stato bisogno, della loro non adeguatezza come madri.

Proprio questo ritiro delle donne, i loro racconti senza speranza della violenza di genere, il non ascolto da parte delle istituzioni e dei professionisti sono stati volano per creare un momento di riflessione su questi temi, in tempi di restrizione dei diritti e di proposte di modifica sulle tematiche dell’affido e delle separazioni.

Violenza domestica e separazioni conflittuali: il corso di formazione

Di violenza domestica e separazioni conflittuali parleremo e discuteremo  nel corso di formazione il 16 novembre 2018 a Padova.

Argomenti sulla violenza di genere di cui tratteremo nel corso:

  • La violenza sulle donne e suo riconoscimento nelle separazioni: aspetti psico-criminologici
  • Maltrattamenti: denuncia, misure cautelari, valutazioni delle prove
  • Accoglienza della denunciante presso un ufficio di polizia.  Uso del SARA PLUS e della check-list E.V.A
  • Trattamento e riconoscimento della violenza in famiglia nei procedimenti di separazione, divorzio e affidamento dei figli
  • Quando la violenza psicologica  si nasconde nelle trame della  cosiddetta alienazione parentale: i risvolti nella valutazione e nel trattamento

 Padova, venerdì 16 novembre 2018 – ore 8.30-13.30

Luogo: Campus universitario Ciels, via Venier , 200- Padova

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